Losing a Husband
The ashes came home and sat in her living room. She was overcome with grief. Even before he had died, when he was sick in the hospital, she had started sitting on his bed at home - where she could smell him - and speaking out loud to him about her day. Every night she would do this before wishing him goodnight and retiring to her own bedroom. This continued after he died with some intensity. Sometimes she would sit on the floor surrounded by photos of him, talking to him and crying her eyes out. In addition to this, she found she was maintaining old habits from when he was alive – checking her watch when out, feeling the need to get back home quickly for his sake; or returning home after a shopping spree and rushing to hide the bags before he noticed how much she’d spent.
... and in that initial phase of grief she moved their large, framed wedding photo from the public space of her living room into the more intimate space of her bedroom. Sometime later she put it back in the living room, but not before she'd photographed the framed image and displayed it on her bedroom wall.